Apparently she's gone from her favorite color being green to now PINK. I'm glad. But she made me also really enjoy the color green. Although EVERYTHING had to be green. She wanted to wear green, color in green, eat with green, drink with green....green, green and more green. I guess we now start it all with pink!
It's funny how it changes. Out of no where. Literally. Happened so fast that I almost missed it. Is your life like that? You are obsessed with a certain something....whether it be a color, a book, TV show, song, perfume, drink, snack, dessert, necklace, earrings, hair style....THEN you are over it in the blink of an eye. Well I guess that's what she did with GREEN.
She drives me absolutely crazy but in so many ways she is a little ME. Oh how scary that is to say. Is God trying to reveal who I am by making me look in the mirror through her? Maybe I should focus more on living for him and being an example to her, rather then her behavior. BUT honestly I'm exhausted. Completely exhausted. Exhausted. How do I escape this exhaustion.
Can I wave my flag? It's a flag I CAN'T ever wave. Being a mom, I will always be a Mom. I love being a mom and I love my kids. Sometimes I just want to wave my flag and say I give up, I surrender.
Maybe....that is exactly what I am supposed to do? God I give up, I surrender. God I can't do this anymore. I can't do it on my own, I'm NOT in control. OUCH. What was that, I'M not in control? Am I ready to give up and hand it over to God. I mean I already have given him my life and I thought he was in control. But I guess the more I think about it the more I am trying to CONTROL areas in my life.
The last half of 2009 was filled with amazing blessings (Wyatt) and a few things that rocked who I am in Christ. 2010 has started and what rocked me has now began to sink in, become reality and make me question my direction and where to go next. If anything NOW is the time I should be clinging to Christ and instead I feel as though I am slightly shutting the door.
I know this is for a season BUT how long will I use that as an excuse and how long will I allow this season to last. Instead of focusing on the real issues at hand and working through those, I let my daughter's behavior tear me into pieces. Emma I am sorry and before I point out your faults I am going to look at myself in the mirror and start working on myself. I love you.
***For those of you wondering what has rocked me, feel free to email me jkingteach@yahoo.com I have no problem sharing but for others involved I don't feel it is wise to openly share in a blog. Many have been rocked and rocked way more severe then myself.
This was really about Emma and her new found love for PINK. Sorry it took a turn. But that's what this blog is about...My Life. So I'm sharing My Life, the happy, the sad, the hard, the easy and the good and the bad!
This picture says it all. I wouldn't ask for her Any. Other. Way.
God remind me Every. Day.
